2. Principles of Regulation - An Introduction to Regulation Practices
Beginning your journey of working with your nervous system can feel both exciting and a little unfamiliar. It’s an invitation to move gently, with curiosity and care. It’s not about doing a set number of practices or getting it “right.” Instead, it’s about understanding the principle behind these practices: communicating safety to your body in a way that it can truly receive.
Your nervous system is designed to protect you. When it senses danger, it activates survival responses like fight, flight, freeze, or faint. These responses can become patterns over time, even when the original danger is no longer present. Our intention is to gently update these patterns by inviting in a sense of safety and calm, one small step at a time.
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Your Senses — The Language Portals of Your Nervous System
The language of the nervous system is sensory, and when we communicate with it through our senses, we can gently shift old patterns rooted in survival. This takes time, just as it took time for those patterns to form.
Every practice I’ll share with you is essentially a way of speaking to your nervous system, reminding it that it’s safe to slow down, soften, and just be. The “grammar” of this language is rooted in your senses.
All the different senses we explored in "Befriending Your Nervous System" communicate how your body is feeling. You can use these sensory channels to gently signal safety and calm to your system. Since everyone’s system is unique, it’s about exploring and discovering what helps you feel most grounded.
Gently Doing the Opposite of Survival Mode
Think of it this way: when we are in survival mode, our body tends to do things like tense up, breathe quickly, or stay hyper-focused. The opposite of that—things we wouldn’t do if we were in danger—can help our nervous system update its old patterns.
When our body feels safe, it naturally moves in softer, slower, more spacious ways—allowing us to breathe, pause, and be present with a wider, more relaxed focus.
Here are some practices that gently encourage this sense of safety:
Taking a long, soft exhale
Stretching luxuriously and letting your body unfurl
Gently tickling your face or letting your gaze soften and wander
Taking in and savouring a beautiful view and allowing yourself to feel a sense of wonder
Using guided imagery to journey into peaceful, beautiful inner worlds
Sighing deeply, shaking off tension, or feeling your feet grounded on the earth
Tapping your body, grounding, or using sensory awareness to notice what feels calm and present
Pausing, moving slowly, or allowing your body to meander
Singing, humming, or engaging in simple rhythmic movements
Being with others while doing something enjoyable
When exploring these practices, move at your own pace—gently, intuitively—letting your body guide you towards what feels right. It can be helpful to create a practice of checking in gently how you feel before the practice and after the practice. It’s not about doing them perfectly or following a strict routine, or doing all of them. Let yourself be drawn by your inner knowing as you start to internalize the principle of ‘inviting the opposite
There’s no rush—let your nervous system adjust gently over time, just as it took time for old patterns to form.
Explore Gently
As you explore the practices I share, try to notice how they feel for you. Some may resonate deeply, while others might not feel quite right—and that’s completely okay. The aim is to build a toolkit of supportive practices that you can adapt to your own rhythm and needs. It’s about giving your nervous system a new experience—one that feels slow, gentle, and safe.
Cultivate friendly curiosity as you try out different practices. Let your body guide you towards what feels nourishing and supportive. Move at your own pace, trusting that each small step contributes to building a gentle relationship with your own nervous system.
Remember:
This journey is about meeting yourself with kindness and curiosity, honouring your unique rhythm, and allowing your body to guide you towards what feels most supportive. I hope you enjoy exploring the practices in this booklet and noticing how your nervous system responds.
