When Business Overwhelm Isn’t Only About Your Business
This article is written for Soulpreneur Corner— a space for those building, birthing, or leading something that matters to them, and tending the inner landscape behind their outer work.
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Running a soul-led business asks a lot of your nervous system — and not always in the ways we expect.
In my first business, I freelanced as a translator and teacher after I left my job in medicine. Finally, and courageously, I had stepped onto a completely new professional path.
I was ready for a new path and thought I would enjoy the beginning as my website took shape.
I expected growth challenges, and I was willing to meet them — even after all the preparation I had done.
But what unfolded went far beyond anything I had anticipated. I wasn’t prepared for the intensity of what was happening in my inner world as I took those steps.
Instead, I felt more and more overwhelmed — far more than the situation called for.
It didn’t make sense.
I got stressed with every new contract I had landed instead of celebrating. I started hiding away from interested clients because I feared I could not meet what they were asking of me (even though on a rational level I knew this not to be true, but the feeling just took over).
There was a constant undercurrent of tension and fear around doing things wrong, even though my first customers highly valued and praised my work. Over time I felt more and more like a complete failure. I pushed through. Then at some point when I started teaching English, I even started to feel like I couldn't speak English at all — what on earth was I doing teaching English, writing in English, and translating complex medical literature into English? Who did I think I was?
It was so confusing because I had started out with a real plan, had done teaching and writing trainings with great results and knew my worth. I had no idea where this intensity was coming from and it was exhausting.
When the Past Quietly Enters the Present
It took me several years — and eventually a burnout — to fully understand that what I was experiencing was memory being reactivated. It was from my early school days — a time in my life when I was moving between different countries, educational systems, language environments, and social norms as a neurodivergent child, without much emotional support to integrate what I was experiencing.
Back then I had had enormous stress around language, switching countries and school systems, and trying to keep up with the demands of a school life in a new country that I didn’t yet grasp. I simply was not managing.
It took time to make that connection, because at the time I didn’t yet know what I’m sharing with you now. But once I could see that the intensity I was feeling came from real situations I had lived as a child, I could begin to respond differently.
With support, I started to help my system understand that those days were very much over — after which I could navigate the demands of my business from a much more resourced, confident place.
I’m sharing this with you to show that sometimes feelings of overwhelm, not managing, fear (and the list goes on) may not solely be about now — they might be echoes from earlier chapters of your life.
When Feeling Memory Comes Online
What we often overlook is that the way we meet the demands of building or running our business, or any kind of soul-led project we bring out into the world, is also shaped by experiences from much earlier in life — especially times where we were learning, trying to keep up, navigating unfamiliar systems, or being taught how to think, perform, and adapt.
For many of us, those early experiences create memory around overwhelm, or other themes around being ourselves and navigating life, that don’t simply disappear; they live on as feeling memory.
When our business or soul-project asks us to be visible, responsive, confident, or adaptable, those old imprints can quietly come back online — as stress, overwhelm, brainfog, procrastination, self-doubt, or reactions that feel bigger than the moment.
When I started my current business — work I deeply love — these patterns showed up again in a different, no less challenging, form.
Over time, I came to see that the closer we move towards our true voice and the work that really matters to us, the more these deeper layers can come into view — especially around belonging, being ourselves, and being seen.
All of this has shaped the work I do today — and it’s why I decided to create Soulpreneur Corner, to speak to these inner dimensions around bringing soul-led work into the world, and learning to be ourselves as we do it.
Exploring Feeling Memory More Deeply
My blog article ‘Not everything you're feeling has to do with now’ explores feeling memory and why certain moments of overwhelm or self-doubt may actually be your body remembering, not evidence that you’re on the wrong path — and what you can do about it.
It includes a story from my childhood, a simple practice you can try. It’s in my main blog called Opening to the Field.
If you’re curious how I approach working with themes like this, you can explore more here:
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Hi, I’m Julia
Medical doctor turned intuitive guide
Author’s note:
Julia’s reflections arise from her own Soulpreneur journey, woven together with professional training in somatic and trauma-informed approaches, mindfulness, and decades of lived experience exploring embodiment, intuition, and inner transformation.