Writing to the “Void”
Do you know this scenario when writing emails?
You sit there for a long time before you hit send.
Maybe you’ve rewritten the subject line three times. Maybe you’ve stared at the screen, trying to feel or channel something, walked away, come back, changed a sentence again.
This isn’t just content for you — there’s heart in it, thought and care. Something real you’re offering. Perhaps something vulnerable you are sharing.
And then you send it. It doesn’t matter if your list has five people on it, or five hundred. You still feel that little earthquake moment of stepping out. Of being visible. Of saying, here I am. And then… nothing. No replies. No small sign that someone on the other side felt what you put into those words.
That’s often the first real encounter with what I like to call the “void”.
In this piece, we explore and normalise some of the inner drama that can happen when we email our list, or share from a vulnerable place, especially as soulpreneurs who share from the heart, and land in the “void”.
Before the “void”: what’s already happening
Let’s step back for a moment. Because the “void” doesn’t start when you hit send. It starts way before. In that space where you’re writing the text or preparing to send.
What’s really happening in those moments?
Simply being in the process can activate subconscious beliefs and patterns around sharing yourself.
Here are some common examples:
❁ I’m disturbing. (Just by showing up in someone’s inbox, I’m intruding, bothering them, taking up space I haven’t earned. I better make it very useful)
❁ What I’m sharing is not good enough. Or worse: it’s stupid. (Someone will see right through me. They’ll know I don’t actually know what I’m talking about.)
❁ Nobody likes me. Or: I won’t be liked. (This will be the thing that confirms I’m not wanted, not welcomed, not received.)
❁ I’m too much. (My intensity, my depth, my way of seeing things — it’s going to overwhelm people. They’ll leave.)
❁ I have nothing original to say. (Someone else has already said this better. Who am I to add my voice to the noise?)
❁ I don’t have permission. (I’m not allowed to speak, my voice is supposed to stay small and silent. This is something I still personally deal with — thank you, school days and more…)
❁ I’m not enough…
Do you recognise any of them? What are yours?
The thing is, these beliefs often aren’t just thoughts. They’re often feelings and patterns that come from younger inner parts of ourselves who learned these beliefs as truth at some point earlier in our lives. This way of understanding our inner world comes from parts work, best known through the work of Richard Schwartz who developed Internal Family Systems (IFS). Parts can carry feelings and patterns (for example making you procrastinate, feel confused, revise endlessly, or sometimes, not send at all, just to name a few) that may be trying to protect you from what they believe will happen when you share and become visible.
Understanding the situation this way can be very helpful, firstly because it allows you to step back and notice what subconscious inner dialogue is playing out and acknowledge that these parts are trying to keep you safe in the only way they know how. Secondly, you can start to support these parts and ‘unblend’ from them (in terms of IFS) and step back into your adult, resourced self — the part of you that can notice what’s happening with kindness, make a conscious choice, and respond rather than react.
The “void”
I imagine some version of the above is familiar for most soulpreneurs who are starting an online business and a newsletter. It certainly was, and sometimes still is, for me. Even when things look good on paper, the feelings can still be intense. I believe: our “void reactions” aren’t really about the numbers. They’re about what is actually going on in our vulnerable, and perhaps wounded hearts and inner worlds — and that’s why it can feel so dramatic, regardless of whether we are writing to nurture, to engage, or to sell.
So what can we do to help ourselves feel better?
The first thing is to simply normalise it: we’re wired to receive back some form of connection when we share, even if it’s non-verbal. And this often falls flat in newsletter communication: No sounds, no body language, no mirroring, no responses, just the deep dark silence of the “void”. Simply acknowledging this can be balm for the soul.
There is also a very real human vulnerability in visibility here. In putting yourself out there, especially if you are highly sensitive, introverted, or someone who has lived with adversity around being yourself, being different. Being visible can already feel like exposure. Silence on top of that can feel like something much deeper than just “no replies.”
What the silence can activate
In the silence, the mind doesn’t stay quiet for long. It starts to fill the “void” with meaning. Stories about worth. About impact. About failure. About not being good enough. About “maybe I shouldn’t be doing this at all”. I've personally found myself even feeling so much toxic shame after sharing that I didn't dare do a reality check and go back to read what I had written, only to return months later and think: what on earth was the problem, this is all fine, even good… maybe…
Sometimes we also start using response as regulation — without even realising it. Replies, likes, engagement becoming the thing that steadies us. And when they don’t come, that void feeling starts creeping in.
And then there is comparison exposure. Quietly measuring ourselves against louder voices, bigger lists, more visible engagement. Wondering what they are doing right that we must be doing wrong.
Over time, this can even erode trust — not just in the process, but in ourselves. In our voice. In what wants to come through us.
To understand how to support ourselves here, it helps to look a little deeper at the patterns underneath.
Understanding our “call-and-response” patterns
Underneath all of this, there is something very human going on.
We are, quite simply, call-and-response beings. From the very beginning, our nervous systems are shaped through reaching out and being met — through signals sent and signals received. When that response is attuned enough, something settles. When it isn’t, something else learns to adapt.
In parts-work language, we might say that inner parts can carry wounding around this call-and-response dynamic. I like to think of it as a theme — one that can quietly shape how safe it feels to express ourselves, to reach out, or to be visible.
For example, an infant that cries and doesn’t get attended in a way it needs, may develop an emotional pattern of feeling unseen, unvalidated or unreceived in certain situations. Or a child or young adult that shares a thought, or has a specific issue, which is brushed off or left unacknowledged — i.e. not seen or met as needed — may develop wounds and patterns around this. These patterns and feelings that evolved in the past can become active in the present without our knowing, and may express without our realising that they are actually old feelings or memories. (If you’d like to learn more about how feeling memory can live on, you can read more about this in my blogpost Not everything you're feeling has to do with now and if you’d like to read more about how your feelings can help you navigate towards your soul, have a look at my blogpost Honouring the Messiness of Feeling - Part 2.)
This can show up in very personal ways. I notice it with my own themes too — for example, a preverbal pattern of not feeling seen or met can still get activated for me when I send a newsletter and land in the void. Even though a lot of healing has happened, these patterns can resurface under stress or visibility. That’s not a failure — it’s part of being human. And this is important here: the work is not about going back into our old stories, it’s about gently meeting what is being stirred and helping ourselves change the narrative in the present.
Before we learned to speak, we communicated primarily through the body. Because infants receive and express through sensation and movement, some early experiences may never have been fully “translated” into words. If those early signals were missed repeatedly, deep imprints can form — not because anyone was at fault, but because this is part of our developmental reality. When attachment wounding is layered on top, these imprints can run especially deep. If you’d like to dive deeper to explore how preverbal early life themes may be showing up in your life, I can highly recommend the book Prenatal Shadow: Healing the Traumas Experienced before and at Birth by Cherionna Menzam-Sills. My blog article, Transforming the Layers Beneath Your Story also touches on some perinatal themes.
So when we hit “send” on a newsletter and hear nothing back, old patterns can light up. It might be an infant part of us that once called out and wasn’t met in the way it needed. The part may have learned something like: my call doesn’t matter or I’m not received. Or these patterns may stem from later experiences — from any point in our lives where expression wasn’t met.
Suddenly, we’re not just dealing with the reality of newsletter communication. We’re experiencing something much older being activated in the present moment, often without realising it. The body remembers what the mind cannot place in time. If you’d like to read more about how feelings and experiences can live on in us, have a look at the video and article about feeling memory I mentioned earlier — it explores how the body still holds in the present what the mind cannot place in time.
So what do we do?
Besides getting advice and support from ethical business coaches who help us take steps, give us reality checks and make sure our expectations stay realistic, we can support ourselves in some very practical, embodied ways. Here are some ways you can do this, I recommend just picking out just a few that resonate for you.
As you write or before you hit send:
❁ Use what is happening to unearth your subconscious beliefs. In many ways, this whole experience is a gold mine for this. What kind of inner dialogue do you fill the “void” with? What inner critical voices show up? What are you imagining your audience is thinking about you? What are you projecting into the “void”?
Your feelings will help you find those beliefs, so take time to free write about your feelings for a few minutes (best done as they show up), or doodle them (more about that soon, stay tuned). You may get really surprised at what you find.
❁ You can start to turn these beliefs around by radically replacing what you find with your best version of your ideal client — the one you love working with and who loves working with you, and who truly needs your voice and services. What would they feel? How would they feel supported, met and seen? Even if there is only one ideal client in your real audience (and there will likely be so many more), this whole venture is already so much more worth it, don’t you think?
I usually send out a little prayer just before I press send “May this leave me in highest-vibe and reach the people who will receive deep value from this.”
❁ Break down the process and take baby steps - make them as small as they need to be. This can be medicine for your nervous system and help you to keep moving forward in manageable, kind and compassionate steps.
Right after you hit send:
You can support yourself on a more practical level too — by helping your body and nervous system realise that right now everything is safe and fine. Here are a few things you can do.
❁ Shake it off, literally. Shake your body. Move the activation through. Put on a song and dance it out. it will help you metabolise the stress. Movement helps complete stress cycles.
❁ Celebrate the act itself. You sent the thing. That took courage. Write it down, sing it, say it out loud: “I showed up. I was visible. I put my heart out there.” My personal favourite thing to do is to have a “Ta-da list”. I have a whole weekly planner dedicated just to this. It’s such a joy to browse in it and be reminded of all the brave things I’ve done (plus see everything I got done).
❁ Write a poem for yourself about the courage you brought. It doesn’t have to be good. It just has to honour what you did. You stepped out. You were willing to be seen. Extra tip: Sing your poem if you like.
❁ Have a real look around. Help your nervous system see: there is truly no danger here. Look at the room you’re in. Touch something solid. Remind your body: I am here. I am safe. The silence is not a threat.
❁ This is something I love to do: spray some essential oil, and just take a deep breath as you acknowledge your task done. Sometimes I also light some Palo Cento or put on my resin smudging stove, just to clear the old energy and let the beautiful scents help me anchor it in.
❁ Go for a walk. Let your body move and your nervous system co-regulate with nature. It knows what to do. Let the rhythm of your steps and the beauty of nature settle your system.
❁ Fill the “void” with your imaginary happy ideal clients. Those who need your work and your support. Imagine them — really see them — opening your email at just the right moment. Visualise it landing in their life like a gift or like a beautiful shooting star in their hands. Create a doodle to show this if that helps make it real.
Longer-term support:
❁ Expect a reaction from yourself when you look at the statistics. Be prepared to support inner parts that start to worry or freak out because nobody even clicked that link.
Here is one of my worst ones, just to normalise the feelings and help you feel better: I once had absolutely no one sign up for my most precious free gift — a gift session with me. Zero people from quite a large list for the stage of business I was in, so I couldn’t even tell myself “it’s a numbers-game”. It happens… and I promise you, it doesn’t mean what your nervous system thinks it means. My Gift Sessions rock, and I simply hadn’t yet found language for the profound transformation I facilitate (more about that another time).
❁ Remind yourself: the “void” isn’t a void at all. Besides being filled with what you project into it, it’s likely filled with lovely humans who consciously opted into your list, and simply don’t reply to newsletters much. Because newsletters are just a different form of communication. Most people read in silence, and often they are busy. That doesn’t mean they aren’t moved. That doesn’t mean it didn’t matter.
❁ Together we are stronger: Join a group that honours inner work around being a soulpreneur, and that celebrates steps like these (let me know if you’d like me to start offering one).
❁ Learn more about email writing. There is a craft to writing emails that convert and that stay true to your values, and yes, you can learn it. Find support that works with your values. Check out my Soulpreneur Resources list (coming soon). Learn the practices that help your writing land, that honour your nervous system and that help support you in a style of writing that resonates with you while you do all that. But also know that even the best email won’t always get replies — and that’s okay and a normal part of the process.
The courage of continuing
There is a quiet resilience in continuing anyway. The courage of writing into silence again and again. Let your nervous system get used to it. Support yourself as you go along, by normalising the process and acknowledging that it simply can sometimes be a rocky road. See what happens if you continuously use a few of the tips I shared above.
For a long time, my own version of support was to simply tell myself: if this supports one person, this is worth it. (This is something I learned in an email by soulful business coach George Kao). By now, I’ve received replies that share with me how my newsletter has helped people change their lives, how each and every one is opened. But this took about a year of stepping into the “void” before that began to trickle in.
And remember, maybe this is also about seasons.
Some seasons are for planting. Some are for roots growing in the dark. Some are for showing up again and again without seeing much happen yet. Not every season is a harvest season — and that doesn’t mean nothing is happening.
So for me, this is where something gently uplifting lives:
Not in making the silence go away, but in realising that continuing to show up anyway already says something about your courage, your care, and your commitment to what wants to be expressed through you.
And if you find yourself in repeating patterns that are keeping you stuck, it might simply be time for some deeper inner work. For example with parts work, somatic processing and nervous system work. Noticing and honouring what’s alive in you is a first step. If you’d like support from me, I offer focussed short term and ongoing support you can learn more about here, or simply reach out and connect with me, so we can explore together how I might be able to support you.
I’d love to hear from you, what kind of reactions do you get when you’re dealing with the “void”?
Trauma-informed intuitive guide and soulful embodiment coach with a background rooted in science and spirit.
Your energy and presence are gifts to share with the world — even if they are deeply quiet. They are the very fuel that helps you transform your life and truly flourish.
You can tap into this when you ground in the essence of being you.
That’s what this blog is here to hold: reflections from my own long journey home to myself, interwoven with the insights I’ve gained through years of lived experience and training.
Warmly, Julia
Author’s note:
This work has taken form through a mix of professional training in somatic and trauma-informed approaches, mindfulness, and through my own lived experience.