Being Who You Truly Are — And What Your Nervous System Has to Do With It
Originally shared with my Soulful Inspirations community — You’re warmly welcome to join us here
What does it really mean to “be who you truly are”?
Do you feel at choice inside your own experience — free to express, respond, and live from the truth of who you are?
For many of us, this isn’t something we can simply decide with the mind, even though that is what we’ve been taught. Our inner world doesn’t work that way.
When people say “just choose differently,” they’re speaking to the mind. But choice — real, embodied choice — doesn’t come from thought. It emerges when your nervous system feels safe enough to let your deeper self lead.
Your subconscious patterns — and most of all, your nervous system — play a central role in whether you can access who you truly are. These deeper layers operate outside of rational awareness and beyond what you can control with thought alone.
Today, I want to gently zoom in on the autonomic nervous system, because understanding this part of yourself can create an inner choice, freedom, and self-connection that doesn’t arise from effort or trying to think your way through — but from safety.
Why your autonomic nervous system matters
Your autonomic nervous system (ANS) is like your internal operating system. It sits at the foundation of your human experience, and its primary job is simple and profound: to keep you safe and alive.
When your nervous system feels safe, your whole being can open. Safety makes space for your soul to breathe.
But the ANS can also become shaped by old protective patterns — past experiences, early environments, ancestral threads — that taught your system what “safety” meant then. Even if those patterns no longer serve you today, your body may still cling to them because they were once protective. Oftentimes you may not even realise that these patterns are there because they have become so second nature.
This is why change can feel so difficult, even when you want it deeply. Your biology may still be orienting toward what was once familiar, and therefore “safe.”
Being able to be at choice is a body state, not a mind state. When your ANS is stuck in old survival patterns, choice and your true self become harder to access — not because anything is wrong with you, but because your biology is doing its job: keeping you alive in the ways it learned long ago.
This is why nervous system work is not about “fixing” anything. It’s about helping your system update its patterns so it can shift into feeling safe and no longer needs to rely on old forms of protection arising from states of chronic survival.
Being who you truly are begins with finding inner safety
Your nervous system is an integral part of your body, and it’s not separate from your soul.
It shapes how you sense the world, how you attune, how you remember, how you belong, and how you communicate with the world and with your inner essence.
The more regulated your system becomes, the easier it is to reconnect with your intuitive truth, your creativity, your voice, your soul. This isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about returning to who you’ve always been beneath the conditioning and the patterns your system once needed for protection.
When you tend to your nervous system gently and in your own rhythm, you create space for your truest self to emerge. You step into deeper connection — with yourself, with others, with the earth, and with the wider field you come from.
So how can we support our nervous system?
One way is to imagine your nervous system as a sensitive, beautiful wild animal living inside you, and you can’t convince it it is safe with logic or reasoning. It doesn’t understand: “Relax, everything is safe here and all I want to do is stroke your ears and hang out with you.”
It responds to what it senses, for example tone of voice, slow movement, presence, gaze, maybe a sense of connection from the heart, soft touch, and so on.
Showing your nervous system that it is safe — through your senses, your breath, and your body — is how real change begins from the roots up.
Much of the communication along the vagus nerve — part of the autonomic nervous system — flows from the body to the brain. This means that when you want to shift your inner experience, it often helps to begin with the body — offering it new cues of safety.
Here are a few ways to begin re-attuning your nervous system in a safety language it understands:
⟡ Create small moments of enjoyment
Laugh with someone, bake something, sit in the sun, jiggle, doodle, stroke an animal, buy some flowers, or share a genuine moment of connection. Regulation often happens through simple, human, enjoyable experiences.
⟡ Create your version of sacred space
Your nervous system responds deeply to your environment. Light a candle, open a window, soften the lighting, place something beautiful nearby. Even small shifts in your environment can signal: it’s okay to arrive here.
⟡ Follow what feels good in your body
Notice what your system naturally leans toward — a stretch, a slower breath, stepping outside, making sounds or changing position. Let your body lead, even in small ways.
⟡ Let your eyes soften and wander
Look slowly around the space you’re in, like a lizard gazing around lazily as it sits peacefully on a warm rock in the sun. Let your attention land gently on colours, textures, and small details.
⟡ Use sound, rhythm and voice
Hum, sing, sigh, clap, drum or play music that moves you. Sound is one of the most direct ways to help you shift states — whether that’s calming, uplifting, or expressive.
⟡ Move intuitively
Stretch, sway, rock, shake, walk, dance. This isn’t about “exercise” — it’s about letting something move through you, in your own way.
⟡ Engage your senses
Step outside, feel the air, touch something with texture, drink something warm, or notice a scent. Your nervous system responds to sensory reality more than to thought.
⟡ Connect with others who value heart-based presence, or your inner values
A grounded conversation, shared presence, or even sitting quietly with someone who is grounded in themselves can help your system settle in ways you can’t always do alone.
Let these practices be small, gentle, and woven into your day. Remember, what works for you will be unique to you and your nervous system — give yourself permission to explore, to follow what feels good, and to let your body guide you.
Coming home through the body
And life can begin to unfold from the inside out.
Julia Kyambi is a medical doctor turned intuitive guide.
You can read more about me he